Translation from Spanish:
The Life of the Captain
The Letters and Journals of Visitaçao da Costa
–A Faithful Indian, Named after the Captain’s Sister,
Traveling from Khalifia on board the SS Margarita
In the Name of Don Aldo, Dear Leader of the Twitters, Perpetual Viceroy and Supreme Governor of All Hotels, Golf Courses and Countries that He Covets, Make Deals With, and Occupies
After having turned out all the Jews and Moors from all your offices and states, in the same month of January your Honorable Lord Senators gave orders to the Captain that with a sufficient fleet he should go to the shithole parts of the world, and for this they made great concessions to him, and ennobled him, so that henceforward he should serve Don Aldo, Dear Leader of the Oceans, etc., and Whose most treasured daughter Ivania should succeed, and so on from generation to generation for ever, and for whom all the Captain might hereafter discover and acquire.
Monday, 1st of April
Equipped with three vessels well suited for our service, and well supplied with provisions and crew, we departed from the port of Oak. As part of my duty I thought it well to write an account of all the voyage very punctually, noting from day to day all that I should do and see, and that should happen, as will be seen further on. Also, Lord Senators, I resolved to describe each night what passed in the day, and to note each day how we navigated at night. I propose to construct a new chart for navigating, on which I shall delineate all the sea and lands; and further, I propose to prepare a book, and to put down all as it were in pictures.